


Like Ashes And Embers

by Arwen88



Series: Ten Commandments - and how they didn't care [4]
Category: Band of Brothers
Genre: Chaplain Dick, Crisis of Faith, Fluff, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Smut, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:02:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23268898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arwen88/pseuds/Arwen88
Summary: Lewis wasn't really sure how he and Chaplain Dick became friends, except they seemed to just fit together, no matter how different they were. Lewis considered himself a debaucherous  guy, while Dick was straight and proper, rigid in his beliefs and his wish to be supportive of everyone in his path.
Relationships: Lewis Nixon/Richard Winters
Series: Ten Commandments - and how they didn't care [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1655272
Kudos: 26
Collections: Loose Lips Sink Ships Prompt Meme





	Like Ashes And Embers

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Cowt 10, prompt "2nd commandment", and the LLSS kink meme, prompt "Chaplain Dick on the front lines trying to do god's work, unfortunately his gay urges for someone in his pastoral care are giving him a crisis of faith. Bonus points if trying to help Nix with his alcoholism."
> 
> Thanks to Zippit for betareading this <3

Lewis wasn't really sure how he and Chaplain Dick became friends, except they seemed to just fit together, no matter how different they were. Lewis considered himself a debaucherous guy, while Dick was straight and proper, rigid in his beliefs and his wish to be supportive of everyone in his path.

Despite not firing a single bullet himself during the war, no matter how much time he spent on the front line, Lewis couldn't understand how Dick could just walk the line, administering the last rites to dying men under enemy fire without even a sidearm for himself.

But they were close, Dick was probably Lewis' best friend, the only one Lewis felt he could turn to to talk, to spend time with without getting judged for his faults and troubles. It was almost paradoxical, what with Dick actually being one that could have judged him and been in his right to do so, but Dick always received him with a little smile and an affection in his eyes that Lewis couldn't find in anybody else.

Maybe, if Lewis could admit it at least to himself during long nights and lonely days, what he felt for the chaplain no more than two years older than him, was more than friendship. Dick was the only one Lewis felt he could open up with, the only one he constantly wished to see, happy to know Dick would spend time with Easy Co and later on with the regiment even more than he was about receiving letters from home.

The wife back at home was just a pale memory of a woman he hadn't really loved in years, but the more he spent time with Dick, the more Lewis found he didn't like thinking about what would become of them after the war. Because Dick was to go back home, there was no way in Lewis' mind that things could go another way. Dick was simply too kind and caring about every boy in his pastoral care for him to die out there in the cold, on a foreign ground, to not be able to go back and have a peaceful life with a family and some animals in his garden.

And yet the more he thought about Dick's future, the more Lew found himself bitterly wondering if there could be a space for him there, with his friendship that maybe wouldn't have mattered that much to Dick after the war, with Lewis’ crooked acts and his misplaced love.

***

Lewis went through his billet, looking for any bottle that might still hold some liquor, and he barely snorted when Dick entered the place, Dick’s grim face enough for Lewis to just know Dick knew not only about his demotion but probably also about the massacre that had been his jump. Or maybe Sink hadn't told the chaplain about that, Lewis considered bitterly, but then again he was pretty sure everybody had heard about his wife filing for divorce.

"So, what did they tell you?" Lewis asked, shaking a bottle only to find it empty and passing to the next one on the table. "Did they tell you about the jump? Or just the demotion? Divorce?" he asked with as much nonchalance as he could fit around his bitterness.

Dick sighed softly, looking at him with concern, his eyes glancing over the many empty bottles lying around. "Sink told me you got demoted because of your problem."

"Mm, this? This is not a problem." Lewis shook his head, finally finding enough whisky to fill his glass. "You know what's a problem?"

He hesitated before continuing, not really sure if what he was going to say could mean getting the boot out of there. But just one glance at Dick, standing there and fidgeting, looking concerned for him and still willing to help Lewis despite how low he was falling, reminded Lewis of who he was talking to.

"The problem here is deciding to do a stupid jump in the middle of the day when we're so far through the war. Remember what you told me before I went back to France, to hang on, that we were almost there? You should've told the brass that, ‘cause they probably didn’t get the memo. And the boys keep dying." He shook his head. "Just like that fucking second patrol that Sink wanted in Hagenau. What was the goal there, besides bragging points?"

Dick stepped closer to him, his lips pressed in a tight line. "Lew..."

Lewis shook his head, knowing there was nothing either of them could have done in that instance or even about the jump Lewis had just done. Only thing Lewis was gonna get with his questioning of the orders was probably another demotion or a court martial.

"What are they gonna do? Take my stripes away? Tell my family I’m disgusting and terrible? Like they don't know that already."

"Lew, that's not true..." Dick shook his head.

But with the rage boiling under his skin, Lewis slammed the glass down on the table, not even caring about the whiskey sloshing over the rim of it.

"She took the kid, she took the dog- My dog! She doesn't even like that dog! And now they say I'm the problem, and what- sent you here to make sure I wasn't drinking myself into a coma?" He barely noticed how he started raising his voice, stepping closer to Dick who just let him open up.

Like Dick always did, granting Lewis his chance to unwind, even when Lewis crowded him.

"What are they gonna do? Find a reason or another to court martial me? Is the alcohol gonna be enough or will they start finding other reasons?” He knew he was probably being a little unfair, knew Sink was a good colonel, knew it was probably fair for Sink to give Lewis a demotion after catching him drunk one too many times. And yet Lewis was on a roll after reaching his boiling point. His tongue loosened by his frustration, he felt like he couldn't stop talking anymore, not until he had everything off his chest. “Maybe they’ll embellish the fact that I never shot a bullet, so I'm probably a coward, no matter that I was out there every day with the boys, doing what I could to keep them together and safe."

"They can't say that about you, Lew." Dick shook his head, trying to calm him down. “You're the best soldier I ever met. The best officer out there. There is no one else like you. They can't just throw you out."

Lewis faltered for a moment in front of the sincerity in Dick's eyes, and he felt his heart squeeze in his chest at knowing Dick was still on Lewis’ side no matter what happened to him, no matter how low he was falling.

Before he could stop himself, Lewis took Dick's face between his hands and pulled Dick closer to kiss him like he had wished to do for months.

Lewis felt the hitch in Dick's breath, and the man tensed up against him. Just as Lewis got ready to let him go, his stomach feeling half the size of what it used to be at knowing he had finally managed to destroy the only friendship he had left, Dick pressed back into the kiss.

It was just a tiny press of lips at first, but when Lewis tried deepening the kiss, almost disbelieving that Dick could truly be into it, Dick parted his lips for him.

Lewis could feel Dick's cheeks heat up under his hands, and yet, no matter how tense Dick felt against him, Dick clearly wanted it, and that was enough for Lewis to try and press himself closer against his friend.

He moaned into Dick's mouth at feeling Dick react against him, and Lewis rocked his hips against Dick’s own.

Dick answered to his moan, hard against him, and Lewis wrapped his arms around his friend, loving to feel Dick finally melt and hold him back. Dick's lean body felt absolutely perfect.

Lewis kissed him with a passion, not wanting to let go anymore. But when Dick broke away from the kiss Lewis saw the worry in his gaze, and he suddenly understood why Dick couldn't relax even if he was clearly loving it.

"Hey, it's alright."

"It's not." Dick shook his head, swallowing almost breathless even though he didn't loosen his grip on Lewis' uniform, almost as if fearing Lewis were to step away and leave him hanging dry like that.

"It is. Dick..." Lewis sighed, searching for his gaze, and gently brushed his thumbs over Dick's cheekbones.

Dick closed his eyes with a sigh, ducking his head, and Lewis softened a bit, leaning closer to brush his lips over Dick's forehead, over the tip of his nose, once more over his lips when Dick lifted his head. "I'm here, Dick, I have you..."

"We shouldn't-" Dick shook his head, letting his words hang in the air.

But Lewis knew what Dick meant, why Dick would say they just couldn’t do something like that. Lewis could understand the religious reasons for the chaplain to pull back even though he still couldn't help but press closer to Lewis, clearly wanting him as much as Lewis wanted him back. Not to mention the reasons they couldn't do that if they didn't want to be court martialed if found. It could have destroyed not only their careers here, but their reputations at home.

And yet, Lewis wanted it, and with the rest of his life falling in shambles around him, he couldn’t help but hope that that one thing could work.

"Why not?" Lewis whispered, searching Dick's gaze. "I love you, Dick. And you- do you love me?" he asked, almost holding his breath as he waited for what felt like the most important question he had asked in a very long time.

Dick started nodding right away despite the fear still in his eyes, and only then Lewis felt like he could breathe again.

"Why should it be wrong if we love each other, when it could make us feel good, feel better?" Lewis murmured, gently caressing Dick's face.

Dick lowered his gaze, looking unsure, but he relaxed a bit when Lewis pressed another little kiss to his lips.

"Will you trust me for once? Like I always trust you?"

"Yes," Dick nodded, dropping his head over Lewis' shoulder, and sighed when Lewis wrapped one arm around his shoulders and carded his fingers in Dick's red hair. "I trust you."

***

Lewis thrusted slowly in his lover, loving the tightness around his cock and the sight of the man lying in front of him. No matter how many times he had dreamed of seeing Dick naked, Lewis felt utterly unprepared when he had the chance to let his eyes roam the lean but muscular body of the chaplain. Dick had told him he enjoyed sports in school, and yet under the uniform Lewis had never thought the man had managed to keep in shape.

He loved the way Dick came undone under his hands, under his touches and loving kisses. It hadn’t been long since they had reached Lewis’ bedroom before they were both naked, laying on mussed sheets with no more ways to hide how aroused they were for each other.

Dick kissed him like he craved it, looked at Lewis with a sort of marvel in his eyes that had Lewis flush in pleasure and pride. Lewis poured all of himself over Dick, trying to let the man see how much he loved him, that what they were doing was worthy of more than guilty feelings and clumsy attempts at hiding it.

Dick trusted him completely, still so pure and innocent that he came as soon as Lewis wrapped his fingers around his cock and pulled a couple times at it. But he lay there, complacent and malleable under Lewis’ hands, letting the man do to him whatever he wanted.

Soon Lewis took Dick after preparing him. He pushed himself deep inside of Dick, wanting to feel one with him, and didn’t take his eyes off the flushed face of his lover, trying to commit to memory Dick’s pleasure stricken expression. It wasn’t long before Dick was hard once more under his touch, trying to lift his lips for Lewis to take him deeper.

But now that Lewis had complete control in what was happening in his life, Lewis wanted to keep it. Instead of letting his lover shift under him, he caressed one of Dick’s legs with one hand without ever stopping thrusting in him, and slowly he led the man into lifting his leg high up until Lewis could place it over his shoulder. Lewis shivered in pleasure at the loud groan that escaped Dick when Lewis managed to take him even deeper. 

“God…” Dick called breathless, arching on the sheets like a pulled string every time Lewis managed to move inside of him just right.

Lewis was drunk with love at seeing Dick answer to his love making with such an open appreciation. Lewis gave his best to pleasure him, to have Dick forget all his fears, doubts, until their universe was shrunken to just the two of them and their pleasure, Dick calling for their god like a prayer, like he couldn’t fathom how good it felt.

“Tell me you love it…” Lewis murmured, feeling close to the edge of his orgasm and needing to hear those words from Dick’s lips before it was too late.

But Dick looked at him with his eyes unfocused by wave after wave of pleasure, and for a moment Lewis had to wonder if Dick had even heard his request.

Then, when Lewis was about to ask once more, thrusting in him a bit erratically with the approaching orgasm, Dick licked his lips and moaned almost obscenely at his thrusts.

“I love you… God, I love you….” Dick groaned, completely undone under him, and Lewis felt himself topple over the edge, caught by surprise at the raw emotions in Dick’s voice, at the unexpected declaration of the man he loved.

Lewis shot his come deep inside of Dick with a long moan, his hands wrapped around Dick’s hip and leg so tight he left marks on his skin, and he watched as Dick shivered and trembled, the flush on his face spreading to his freckle covered chest, a moment before he too reached another orgasm, shooting his seed over his own stomach with a breathless groan.

“Love you,” Lewis moaned, slowly helping Dick lower his leg before he leaned down to press a new kiss to Dick’s lips.

He could feel Dick’s smile under his kisses, and for a moment Lewis thought his problems could stay in the past if only he were to keep this one single good thing in his life.


End file.
